First day of uni~

Four months holiday finally finish~
what have I done for these 4 months?
play play play.. still play…
oh wait~ I DO work a lot also~ haha
Work more, but my bank account money keep decreasing…haiz….

Any way. this morning went to city together with my dad..
because he wanted to apply for his visas..
After showed my dad where is the immigration office was,
then I went to Mcd for breakfast before my 3 hours class started..

My first class for this semester was MBR (Managing Business Relationship).
This paper I have to learn about management, law and social science.
Today I had Law class for 3 hours..
I not sure is it because of first day, is only just about the introduction.
I did not feel Law is that hard..
LOL~! OF COURSE I didn’t compare with the REAL LAW~

Same as every semester, I don’t have any friends that I known before in the same class..
I have to try to know new friends again… haiz… I HATE THIS SOME TIME….

After my MBR class, went to have lunch together with May Sze and Flavia.. ^^
We went to the korean restaurant that we didn’t been there for ages.. ^^
After lunch we went to the Momo Tea Express to look for the Watch that may sze showed me..
AND~!!! I lost control again.. I spent 60 dollars for 3 watches.. and also bought a bag after my Ethics class.. >.< but don’t u think the watch and the bag are nice.. ^^

I got another class from 4pm – 6pm. Is Ethics class. Dunno why, when I stepped inside the class, I felt so stress.. Almost every one already finish their Core paper, and doing their majoring.. and even some of them, this paper is their last paper..

And me, still taking my core paper.. and not even starting my Majoring… All of them seems sooo professional and also so genius.. I cant get along with their topic.. all of their topic is about business, about share. >.< WTF man.. the 2 hours class seems like 20 hours for me.. >.< I feel so lucky that Ethic is only 2 hours for every week.. otherwise, I will die man….

And tomolo I got a early class 8am – 9am for Hospitality Human Resource.. and then 2 hours break I have to be myself..Have no money to buy text book yet… so I think I will go to the library and finish off my Chinese novel.. hehe.. then 11am to 2pm for my Managing Business Relationship class…

After finish uni… I have to go to work until 8.30pm… So.. this mean that.. I need to sleep early… hehe ~ SO~! GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS~!

天蝎座的心...

我看过很多很多的关于星座的文章，
他们都说天蝎座的外表冷酷，思想冷血，
我从来都不觉得我自己的外表冷酷，思想冷血..
反而，大家都觉得觉得我的性格很开朗，乐观，坚强。
和我不熟的人，都会觉得我是个不会哭的女孩子。。

如果你也认为我是不会流眼泪的话，
那就代表你一点都不了解我…
我是一个很容易哭的人，

看到感动的画面，我会哭。
受点点的委屈，我也会哭。
生气发脾气的时候，我会哭。
不被人信任的时候，我会哭。
自己一个人的时候，我会莫名其妙的哭..

还有很多很多的时候，我都会很容易哭..

今天发生了一件事情，
让我觉得自己好没用~
就因为一个人在帮另一个人隐藏秘密，
而这个人是我最好的朋友，而这个人在帮的另一个人，
他们也只不过认识了几天..
我知道他隐瞒这个秘密是为了另一个人的好。。
不过，我就是很自私的觉得很不舒服…

如果不要让我知道的话，那就不要说出来。。。
不要说出来之后，说到一半说“我还是不要告诉你比较好~”

我是个好奇心非常重的人，
如果你是要告诉我的话，就直接告诉我。
如果你是不要告诉我的话，那就拜托你完全别提。
因为我是真的非常讨厌被人“吊胃口”的感觉~！

其实当时我是非常的生气，
因为这个人也不是第一次了~
不过，我在乎他。
我清楚的直到不是爱情的在乎。
就只是因为我在乎他这个人，
所以每一次他这样“吊我胃口”，
我都忍..

不过，这次的忍..
我包括了眼泪…
因为我觉得不甘心，
因为我觉得生气，
因为我觉得不被信任,
所以这次我哭了…

我并没有告诉任何人这个事情的详细内容，
还有心底里很多很多感受和想法。。
我都无法告诉人家..

突然想起，不知道那一篇文章说过…

天蝎座的最深处的心,只有自己知道…

现在的我，超级认同..

好心情!

今天的心情特别特别好...
早上睡醒,帮弟弟妹妹准备早餐…
准备我儿子的便当…
送了我儿子搭巴士之后，
我就到我房间上网…
上网看到很多很多的文章和短片..
大多数都是鼓励人生的文章和短片…
看完之后，感触特别多~

突然觉得，其实我的生活比其他人都很幸福很多了…
自己的所谓麻烦，烦恼~
根他们拿来做比较，根本什么都不是~！

今天家里人全部不在~
就只是我一个人在家，
安静的听歌..
安静的读书..
安静的上网..
安静的…
非常安静的…

这种感觉特别好..
也让我一整天的心情觉得很棒~！很轻松~！
我很喜欢这种感觉~
我也希望这种感觉可以继续很久的时间~ ^^

我真的害怕…

你们知道害怕到哭得感觉是如何吗？
我不知道这个“哭”，算不算是“哭”...
不过，现在的我...只要一回想今天发生的一切..
还有以前发生类似的事情。。。
我的眼泪，就很自然的流出来...

我想告诉你们。。。
虽然平时的我性格像男生， 
虽然平时的我看起来很凶，
虽然平时的我看起来不容易被人欺负，

这些都是你们看到我的外表而已~

其实我害怕的时候，我跟普通的女生是没有分别的，
其实我害怕得时候，我一点也凶不起来...
其实当我一个人的时候，我坚硬外表的壳会慢慢的消失了...

不过，今天..
发生事情的之后，我才知道..
我还是希望被男生保护...
就好像今天发生的一切...
真的让我觉得非常的害怕...

今天下午和傍晚发生的事情，
让我觉得超级没有安全感...
现在的我..只是想哭~ 把我所有害怕的事情...哭出来~

今天我上班的时候，上巴士的时候…
巴士里面看到一位印度男子，
我一上巴士的时候，我就发觉到他在盯着我看了~
我坐回我我时常坐的位子~
然后我看到他不断地望回来盯着我看，还对着我笑~
我假装看着窗外~不去看他~
不过，我还是可以感觉到他看回来的眼神~
而且，我知道当巴士停在每一个站的时候。。
他都会往我这里看，看我有没有下车~

那个时候， 我的手上拿着我的笔~
心想，如果他跟着我下车的话，我就用笔来插他~
因为那个时候，在我书包里，就只有笔是最有用的东西~
我到目的地的时候，我下车了~
刚开始，我看到他并没有跟着下车，我即刻觉得松了口气~
我看到巴士的门关上了，也启动准备离开了~
怎知道，巴士的门又开了~
而那个印度人也下车了~

那个时候我就知道不妙了。。。
所以我就马上连车都不看的跑着过马路了…
然后直接跑进去我上班的地方…
我不知道他到底有没有跟着我进去~

没有人知道，我躲在staff room里面..哭。。
我真的很怕..很无助…我不断地在想~

如果那个时候那个人追得到我~
我会发什么事情？

如果那个时候，那辆车没有及时停下来，
我现在是不是会躺在医院呢？

太多太多的如果了~ 我也不知道答案会是什么…

 

另一个的事情，发生在傍晚的时候~

那个印度security guy,
自从被我的经理打电话到他公司那投诉他sexual harassment..
他就被调去别的地方上班，再也不能踏入我上班的地方…
本来今天我是很开心…因为今天开始是我不用看见他。。
不过，当我休息完回来..
我的同事告诉我他看见那个security guy进来我上班的地方找我..
幸好那个时候我在休息~要不然我就会看见他~
我同事告诉我，他找不到我之后他就直接出去了…

那个时候我在想，
他找我是干什么？
他是不是生气我投诉？
他是不是要对我做些不好的事情？
他不是不知道他是已经被禁止踏入我上班的地方了吗？

那他为什么还来啊？?

他知不知道自从他在facebook上加了我开始，
我就觉得他很可怕~
我跟他没有说过话~
我也不知道他到底如何在facebook找到我..
我们并没有mutual frens..
他也不知道我的family name…
他不知道他这样做没让我觉得我很没有安全感吗？

我真的很怕…
自从被人打劫之后，我就已经变得很小胆…

我害怕一个人…
我害怕陌生人…
我害怕我又被人打劫…
我害怕我又回到那时候，几乎每晚都被恶梦吓醒…

这次的我，真的真的怕了…

The last day of 2010

So, today is the last day of 2010…
If u asked me.. what is my feeling of the last day of 2010?
I feel happy ^^

First things, He sent me to work.. ^^
eventho is a short distance.. but.. I still feel happy bout it ^^

Second things, Countdown with my frens and family.. ^^
after work.. Keat came to countdown to pick me and may sze up..
my parents already went to City and walked around before I finish work.
So keat came to my house and “make up” coz he and may sze is going to clubbing together with Michelle Tran’s group..

I was almost cannot meet up with my parents coz of the road blocked.. and Keat went to other way to go city.. and is like traffic jam as well.. every one like going to city to countdown or watever.. So keat let me and may sze get off the car first..so we can go to find my parents..

City was soo crowded.. it took us soo long to find my parents..but lucky around 10 minutes before 12am.. I found my family.. and still can countdown with them.. BUT, we left Keat alone by himself.. coz that time.. he still couldn’t find any car park.. and he was drive around and around looking for car park.. but at least we were on the phone.. ^^ better than nothing rite?

After Keat found the car park and came to join us was around 12.20am already.. and that time.. Keat and may sze went to Primo looking for Michelle Tran that geng.. and me and my family jst walked around…

AND~! guess wat??! I saw the cute guy in the bus stop that I said “hi” with at Christmas Eve.. I wanted to go and ask him remember me or not.. but.. my family were beside me.. so.. I have to “behave” myself.. sad sad sad sad

AND~! another shocking things.. my mum actually asked me.. “are you following them to clubing?” in another way mean.. my mum actually will let me go to clubbing if I want to.. hehehehehe

any way, Me and my family went home around 2-3am after eat “MacDonald” and we jst went home.. coz I working tomolo…7.30am… >.<

any way. … wish u guys… have a GREAT 2011~

 

 

With Jeffrey (30.12.10)

Today went out with Jeffrey for lunch and movie… ^^ This is the fist time that me and him meet after the kaira’s party in AUT hostel. I’m not sure is this our first date or not.. my fren said this counted as date.. but. any way… I was so nervous yesterday for the date. Because Jeffrey is quite hard to  on MSN. every times also i’m the one talked more than him. And this is the first time we talk in person.. i was so worried we will feel awkward. But lucky.. everything was alright today. Is not as bad as i thought ^^

He was suppose to pick me up from my house and then go to have dinner and Watch movie in Albany. But, his friend at last minutes cannot borrow car to him. So we changed to meet up in City to have lunch and movie.

He said meet up at 12pm.. And I was on time and wait him in front of AA building.  I thought he catch the Ritchie bus..that why i wait him there.. but after around 10-15 minutes he txt me said he at britomart.. >.< I was planned to walk down and to meet with him.. but he said stay at AA building to wait him walk to me… in some how.. i found this quite gentleman.. honestly, when he told me he was on his way.. i was so nervous。。dunno why.. but yup~ i seriously nervous..

any way, after he came.. we went to find food.. we walked all the way to Japanese restaurant named <Kubic>.. talked and chat during eat …when he told me about his ankle, i jst remember his ankle was injured.. and he still walked so much with me.. man.. feel sooo guilty….. >.<

Omg..this guy.. eat soooooo fast~!!!!! when he already finish his food..i not even finish half of my food…so, he wait me finish my food.. ^^ then he paid for the food and we went to walked around.

He asked me did i want to do anything..i told him i want to pay for the electric and also buy something from S n C…Keat asked me not to do this kind of things when this is our first date… :P but, when Jeffrey asked me wat do i want to do.. i jst told him… and he company me walked around… and i actually  like the feeling of his company me walked around and do stuff.. After finish done all my things, we walked to Hobson Street to buy his things…

After that we went to Time Zone the one in Cinema to play before the movie start…We played a game is like tennis on the machine..He asked me to play that, but I never played that before.. so I told him that I never play.. and he teach me how to play..of course, the result is.. I lose… and he kept won.. for few times that I can sense that he try to let me win.. ^^ hmm… I like the feeling played game with him.. coz he look super different compare when he was on msn or facebook.. ^^ he look like.. fun guy? compare on msn.. he gave me the feeling like he is.. SERIOUS? BORED ? person?

We went to get our ticket and went to watch the “ Little Fockers”…

We jst went home after movie… and that is what me and his first date.. is this even a date? I dunno.. but, I am very happy for the whole day tho.. ^^

When I reach home, I went online.. and he find me on msn.. he said his fren jst back to house and he got the car.. and he asked me want to go for dinner or not.. I told him that I cant.. coz my sister already cooked my rice…

and there is our conversation

“when I get my own car, we can go any time..”..
I asked him “do you still want to see me?”
He said “why not?”
”I thinking I mite scare you today… haha”
”nah.. I like u”.. “but havent decide want to be fren or more than that”

So.. is this a good things?

At the nite time, we still chatting..he asked me do I have any Hong Kong Drama.. I told him that I do have.. and he said “thanks! I coming get it now!!” I was like “WTH??!!!” coz when he said that was like around 11pm.. and he said he jst kidding… (O/s: PHEWWW~~~) and he said he will come to get it tomolo before I go to work.. HE asked me wat time I going to work.. I said 3pm.. and he said he will come to my house at 3.30pm..>.<

I asked is him stupid or not.. lol.. I said 3pm and he said he coming at 3.30m.. and he said he will give me ride to work..^^ (O/s: happy happy happy ^^)

It seems like good way to start.. but how is the ending going to be? no one will know ^^

Special Christmas Eve (24.12.10)

I know is super late to update my xmas post.. is like 2 months ago.. haha… anyway…

2010 Christmas was a great xmas for me…
Went out with Keat and May Sze in the xmas eve..
We went to beach at first, and chat..
Then we went to city.. and drive around the street..
Screamed at the stranger out from the windows…This is my first time did this in the past of my 22 years of life..
It was kinda consider as one of the craziest thing I had done in my life.

That nite was such a great nite,
Many funny things happened..
There were some highlight of the nite…

1st…
My first “target” stranger was a cute guy who standing in the bus stop..
He was so shy in the beginning, when I said “Hi” to him out from the car window.. and he was ignored me… and I was kinda high that time.. so I keep said “hi” “hi” “hi” to him.. until he finally waved back to me.. ^^ I not sure is he really cute or not.. but, wat he did.. is soo cute.. haha… ^^

2nd…
when already 12am.. three of us were getting high and high.. and we went to screamed at many stranger..and there was an asian guy, after me and may sze screamed at them.. a guy who wearing red shirt and walked near to our car. and gave me and may sze a hug.. ^^

3rd…
same things, we screamed to a white guy and said “merry xmas!!!” but that guy was holding a can of alcohol.. he walked near to our car.. me and may sze were sooo scare of him.. and when we both saw him walked near to our car.. both of us close the windows as fast as possible.. LOL~! and the guys was like pointing his finger to us.. haha.. too bad..~ coz that guys.. look.. gross.. :P

4th…
When we were waiting for the traffic light.. beside our car there was an asian girls who driving same car as Keat’s little sport car… Keat saw that and he open his window and was like “AAAAAHHHHHH~~~~~~!!!!!” and, drive the car away.. wat I saw after is… the asian girls pointed middle finger at keat..~! LOL~! and that asian gal actually look quite pretty as well.. but of course not after she pointed the finger at us.. hahahahahah

5th…
May sze was hungry when around 2-3 am.. So we went to Denny’s to get something to eat.. and.. we saw the asian guy who gave me and may sze hug.. he was eating with his fren over there as well.. and some thing more embrassed was.. all of them remember me and may sze and kept look at our table.. ^^

I’m not sure did I missed out anything…
These 5 of the highlight were the best for me ..
2010 Christmas, Was my BEST and SPECIAL Christmas ever in my life.
And I really hope, 2011 Christmas.. will be another fun time for me.. ^^

黑色冬至

今天心血来潮到马来西亚的中国报网站看看马来西亚发生了什么事。
一打开就看到封面写着《梁家冬至難團圓，無情火奪4命》。

冬至，本来就很应该是一家团圆吃汤圆的日子。
可是，这个家庭..却是“难团圆”.

不知道为什么，看完这篇新闻之后。本来很好的心情，却完全开心不起来了。

这场火灾发生在半夜2时50分。事情发生的时候，唯一的还生者也就是店主，他的儿子在楼下看电视。突然看到店的大门着火. 然后他就连忙叫醒他的爸爸，然后再一起叫醒其他的家人。可是由于火实在太大了，行动不方便的老母亲虽然被消防员救出来，不过却在送院途中丧命。而最发现到火灾的儿子，最后救得了爸爸，自己却来不及逃生，最后于妈妈和姐姐一起卧尸在浴室中。

不知道为什么，看完这篇新闻之后。原本很好的心情，都变得很沉重。我开始在想很多很多东西。为什么人的生命就是那么的脆弱？为什么在一个应该一家团圆的节日，却变成灾难呢？我看到报纸的时候，我觉得那个爸爸好可怜，在一夜之内，失去了母亲，太太，儿子，女儿…

以后，在他的生活中就必须一个人的生活下去。

还有两天就是圣诞节了，今年的圣诞节..对这个爸爸来说,绝对是很痛苦的一个日子。我在想，以后的每一年的冬至…这个爸爸会怎样过呢？想到这，我的眼睛都开始湿了…

所以说，我们真的要珍惜眼前人。
因为我们永远都不知道下一秒会发生什么事情在我们的身上。

每天嘻嘻哈哈的 到底在掩饰些什么?

你累了吧?

你每天嘻嘻哈哈的

到底在掩饰些什么?

是孤独?

是无奈?

是伤心?

还是害怕?

为什么你面对着自己在乎的东西

总是摆出一副可有可无的样子?

为什么总是说着些口是心非的话?

为什么知道那些都是在敷衍你

你却还屁颠屁颠向他讲诉着你的事迹

而他只是“哦”的应了你一声

你讨厌他的“哦”

讨厌别人的敷衍

讨厌等待

在等待的每分每秒里

时间走得那样慢

慢到恐惧…

你明明很在乎

却还要装作一副无所谓的样子

你明明很喜欢

却还要倔强的说讨厌

你明明很生气

却还要微笑着说没关系

你明明很害怕

却还要逞强着说无所谓…

你怕失去

怕被丢弃

怕一个人面对黑夜

怕孤独寂寞

怕失落…

每次失去一样东西一个朋友

你都会迷茫、不知所措

可你巧妙的用微笑掩饰了内心的恐惧、害怕…

你是为了自己那不低头的面子吗?

为了自己倔强的脾气吗?

还是为了显示自己的大度?

感觉到疲惫了吗?

你为什么不说心里话?

怕遭到拒绝?

怕被别人笑话?

怕让自己很难堪?

怕让自己再次沦陷吗?

为什么你连属于自己的幸福都争取不了?

为什么你眼睁睁看着别人一点一滴

从你手中夺走属于你的幸福

你还无动于衷?

是你不在乎吗?

那为什么当你看到自己手中正一点点消逝的幸福

你会偷偷躲在被子里抽泣…

为什么你只选择默默守望自己的幸福?

为什么自己在被别人弄伤之后

你还要顾及别人有没有被你弄伤?

知道这样的你有多傻吗?

为什么看到你的他一步一步离你远去

而你不挽留他?

难道你真的无所谓吗?

那为什么你看着他的背影

还会掉眼泪?

你说你希望他为你留下

而不是苦苦求他为你留下

明白他已不属于你

就算失去很痛

你也要放手…

为什么不哭出声?

为什么当你再次抬头的时候

又是一个微笑?

那个微笑满是泪痕

为什么你总是想要把自己伪装得严严实实

却还是感觉得到心痛?

你幻想要一份安全感

一份完完全全属于你的幸福

你不喜欢和别人争什么

别人是主动者

你却喜欢做被动者

你幻想着幸福来找你…

你傻傻的笑了

满足的笑…

你已经笑累了、该休息了

不要再天真的以为

别人会看透你微笑背后隐藏的悲伤

因为彼此只是过客

擦肩过后只是陌生人

仅此而已…

正如你也看不透别人

也不会为谁而改变自己

为谁做什么

请收起你的虚伪

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City and Simone’s BBQ

Today went out had lunch with Keat. He was emo yesterday night because of his baby went back to her own country for few months. So, today he asked me to company him.. He went to get a hair cut before he came to pick me up from my house. I wasn’t realized at the beginning when i got on his car.. coz from the side, his hair seems “normal” for me..

And we just keep chat chat chat.. and he didn’t even turn his head face to me when he talked. Until the car stopped at the traffic light, he turn around his head to talk with me.. i was like @_@ WTF~! yup, i was SHOCKED.. coz he shaved half of his hair.. yup. i mean HALF~ you can clearly see a straight line on top of his head… i promised him i cant upload the photo on my blog or Facebook.. so, sorry.. no photo “ALLOW”.. haha..

but yeah, i was quite shocked that he cut this kind of hair, and also wore a long earring.. he looked punk.. haha.. he purposely wait until his baby went back to her own country, so he can do this kind of hairstyle.. coz his baby wont like it… we went to City to have lunch, when we walked around city.. every one were keep looked at us coz of his hair.. haha..

We went to a Japanese Restaurant opposite the bus stop that i usually catch the bus.. i like the environment, the lighting, and the food also not bad.. ^^

THEN…

We saw Desiree in city talked with three Malaysian. Three of them were Christian, they stopped Desiree to help them  for some survey things. When i saw Desiree, I went to say “hi” to her.. AND~ me and Keat got stopped by three of them. Two of them were from Sarawak, and one of them from Kuala Lumpur… is quite weird that we found some 3 Malaysian stopped us and to help them do some survey things…

one of the guy said Keat very 前卫 and asked him whether is Keat studied Bachelor of Art or not…yeah.. coz of Keat new hair style, the guy ask him this stupid question. When i listened this question, i cannot stop laughed..

any way, after that we went to Giapo to eat ice cream. This is what we both always do.. i mean me and keat.. when either of us feel not happy.. we will go to eat ice cream.. no matter what ice cream.. but, eat ice cream will make us happy and …. er…. High.. don’t know why… 

So is the same this time, the only things different was this time we have Desiree with us and talked stupid things and dodgy things.. haha taking photo.. and also busy “licking” ice cream… haha

After ice cream, we went to S & C walked around, then sent Desiree went home.. and Keat dropped me off at Flavia’s house. Flavia and me went to Simone’s house for BBQ. When i reach her house, she haven’t get ready yet.. so i just stayed in her room and talked with her, looked at her “shaved” her leg.. LOL straighten her hair,  put on make up.. She helped me to put on make up.. hehe.. she is the fastest person who done my make up like within 10 minutes~! and is quite nice as well.. hehe

any way, we went to Simone house after we all done. We walked there, and.. honestly. i felt sooo lucky i went there with Flavia.. because when we walked into Simone house, every one were only sat at there and just stared at each others. and there are only 2 workmates.  both of us felt sooo awkward. We sat close to each others, and just chat about our own topic.. hehe..until Hadi, Kinisi and the rest came..

we just stayed at there for around 1.5 hours.. then we walked to countdown to find Carol for fun.. and also……. PEE.. hehe.. we wanted to pee badly.. we couldn’t wait until we reach flavia house.. so we just went to staff room for pee and walked back to her house.. hehe… and wait my parent to pick me up from her house.. and… GO HOME~!