heart broken???

guess wat?  i think i have to stop my “d” now.. and moving on to look for my “e”…LOL~! jst kidding!!! but yeah.. i seriously have to stop liking him now.. yesterday his  fren told me that he and one of our fren already were couple for few months since his birthday till now… so.. basicly, that day wat d told me and share his problem was talked about his fren J and the gal he like R… and i was WISHING the gal would be me…. lol~! i think i am think too much already.. isnt me?

yesterday when i tried to talk with him.. and he jst such a jerk that look at me and ignore me and then walked away.. i was soo damn pissed the way he treat me..so i talked about this to his fren J.. and then only i found out about he and R together…hmm.. honestly, it is kinda shock for me.. coz i heard some one said before that R already married..and now she is with D? and… J told me quite lots of the D stuff that made me even shock.. and… refuse my feeling toward him.. only one word that i can describe my feeling.. “EWWH”

i know i do like him.. but i dunno how deep is my feeling on him.. after knew that he have gf now.. i dont feel sad, i didnt cried.. but.. jst like no mood to any things..my mood jst like today weather.. couldy for the whole day….i dunno did i hide my feeling into the very deep in my heart? or i actually didnt like him that much?? i dunno…

today, i talked about this with may sze.. and she remind me something.. how come the way the guy who i like treat me is getting worse and worse? first is brent, then alexis, then kean then allen.. then d..i told xindy wat may sze talked about this.. and xindy said is my own problem that i falled into this kind of guys…coz i keep hang out with this kind of guy that quality is getting worst and worst.. so.. xindy suggest me to change.. change my mindset.. change my personality…but the problem is.. i dunno wat is my mindset… i dunno wat personality do i have… so.. i have to find out wat is all about this.. and start changing to better life and…. better QUALITY.. LOL rite xindy???

any way, today i went to countdown for the stupid supervisor training..so tomolo i will starting to be a supervisor now.. if you ask me am i happy? SORRY.. i am SO NOT happy… but i will try my best to change this thinking.. coz i need something new to refresh.. RITE? ^^ i hope i can do it~!

 

scary day

今天早上在等巴士的时候发生一件超危险的事情. 我到现在想回,还是觉得超级可怕的…说实话，我真的不知道为什么来了这里之后会时常有这些事情发生的。

今天早上我因为忘了拿我的手提电话而跑回家拿我的手提电话而missed了巴士。看看手表里下一辆的巴士来的时间还有5分钟…所以我就到对面的巴士站等下一辆来。这个时候，有一辆黑色的车子一直在我家和在我等巴士的巴士站绕来绕去(我家对面就是巴士站）当我发觉到这两黑色车的时候我就感觉不对劲的了…不过，我还是尽量让自己保持冷静。我也一直告诉自己 “不会有事的。。。” “不要自己吓自己…”

不过很明显这些都只是在让自己不要这样紧张而已。这辆车绕了几圈之后，真的停在我的前面. 然后问我要去哪里，他可以载我一程。我当然不会上他的车啦！我就很有礼貌的根他说is ok..不用了。。谢谢. 之后他也开车离开了..当我刚刚才松了一口气的时候，我又看见他的车停在我前面了。这次他还下车来跟我说话呢！！！他下车，然后告诉我不用怕他的，他是好人，他不会对我做任何事情的… 而且他说的时候是越靠近我.. 我那个时候怕死了，想跑..可是他是驾车的，我绝对不够他的车快… 想挣扎，又怕惹他激怒…怕他如果激怒的话不知道会做些什么。

不过很幸运的，那个时候巴士正巧也来了..我赶快跑到马路外面去拦巴士然后就跳上巴士了..当那个男人看到巴士来的时候，他也很快的跳上车然后离开了…

直到我上巴士的时候，我可以感受到自己的身体轻微的在抖..我真的不敢想象如果这个巴士迟来的话，我的后果将会发生什么事情.

 

Disappointed

as i said before, one of my frens having some problem now.. and he is in very very bad mood at these days.. few days ago, i was stay awake coz of him coz i dont want to leave him alone.. and i stay online and keep chatting with him.. and jst “teman” him till he seems better that time..

i think, the way i treat him jst bit too much? i didnt mean in love side.. but,in fren side… i think i really care about this fren too much..am i really replace him on my others fren that already passed away? or i really do care about this fren? i dunno… any way… these days i always worry about him will doing something stupid and i try my best to find some time to chat with him.. keep try to asked him to meet with us…i’m know that feeling that he having now, that why i dont want to let him be alone and think of all the stupid things..

and….this fren always told me every things about him.. but ,today.. he seems like lie on me for some very very minor things.. i dont like ppl lie on me.. no matter wat.. especially those person that i really care with.. i know he was in bad mood, that why i didnt went to asked him to find out the answer.. i knew he try to hide something that happen today which he dont want to tell me.. i can sense it.. i mean i know him well.. or may be i didnt.. any way.. i knew something must be happened today.. that why on his facebook he got some updated that relate to his problem.. since he didnt want to tell me wat happen.. i couldnt help him anything.. or share with his problem of anythings…

any way…i am sleepy now.. and i got class at 8am tomolo.. and i got work until 8.30pm.. so tomolo will be my long day.. which mean i should be sleep now.. but, why am i couldnt really sleep coz of worry him??? and stay infront of my laptop and waiting for his reply?????

genius day ever ~! ^^

today went to may sze’s bio lecturer.. apparently, i went to hers bio lecturer for every Thursday in this semester..can you guys believe this??? i went to BIO LECTURER~! >.< when i seriously dont like science.. but,  i actually like going there coz it made me feel want to study more.. i mean.. i can concentrate in my revision when may sze listen in her class.. or not..?

any way, today as usual i went to her lecturer.. and she forgot to bring her glasses and she cannot see the thing on the board.. so… i help her to copy down the note..when i not even understand a single word from the bio term of word.. i jst remember something with “protoXXXXX” which i said to may sze is “PROTON SAGA, PROTON WIRA” LOL… >.< come on.. dont blame me.. i never study bio before ler.. and i feel mysels SI BEH genius ler… ^^ i mean i copy down the things that i not even seen before.. but i not sure am i copy wrong or not.. lol.. i jst basicly copy the ABC from the board.. ^^

During the class, Jasmine was like txted may sze at last minutes told her dont have to go for work.. so may sze and me went to starbucks for STUDY.. yeah.. WE two went to STUDY.. in starbucks… for… almost 4 hours.. ^^ lol.. i feel myself like thoese genius student like spent study for the whole time for everydays.. ^^

may sze~! dont you like this as well..? we should do it all the time  ^^

 

 

 

haiz…….

OKAY~! i feel sooooo down now. nothing happen on me.. but, my frens. both of them have “putus cinta” problem.. wat kind of problem? break up already.. but still like the ex bf or ex gf… haiz… wonder why love always don’t have happy ending one.

i dont want my fren to be upset or emo…especially the frens that i really care…when the frens that i really care are sad, emo, or watever.. i will be even worst as them. i know this might sound bit stupid. but yea… this is wat always happen since i notice how much i care about my frens…

but, i am not that type of person that can cheer ppl up.. wat i only know to do is be with them.. and i dont think this is enough.. last time when my fren cried.. me and her was live sooo close to each others, but i cant even go to her house to company her… i feel myself sooo useless already.. and now, another fren who now really need some one to be with him.. and i cant drive.. we live tooo far to each others..honestly, after these two things.. i seriously feel sooo regret i cant drive.. >.<

any way, dunno why and wat am i writing this.. haiz….. !!!!!!!!!!