heart broken???

guess wat?  i think i have to stop my “d” now.. and moving on to look for my “e”…LOL~! jst kidding!!! but yeah.. i seriously have to stop liking him now.. yesterday his  fren told me that he and one of our fren already were couple for few months since his birthday till now… so.. basicly, that day wat d told me and share his problem was talked about his fren J and the gal he like R… and i was WISHING the gal would be me…. lol~! i think i am think too much already.. isnt me?

yesterday when i tried to talk with him.. and he jst such a jerk that look at me and ignore me and then walked away.. i was soo damn pissed the way he treat me..so i talked about this to his fren J.. and then only i found out about he and R together…hmm.. honestly, it is kinda shock for me.. coz i heard some one said before that R already married..and now she is with D? and… J told me quite lots of the D stuff that made me even shock.. and… refuse my feeling toward him.. only one word that i can describe my feeling.. “EWWH”

i know i do like him.. but i dunno how deep is my feeling on him.. after knew that he have gf now.. i dont feel sad, i didnt cried.. but.. jst like no mood to any things..my mood jst like today weather.. couldy for the whole day….i dunno did i hide my feeling into the very deep in my heart? or i actually didnt like him that much?? i dunno…

today, i talked about this with may sze.. and she remind me something.. how come the way the guy who i like treat me is getting worse and worse? first is brent, then alexis, then kean then allen.. then d..i told xindy wat may sze talked about this.. and xindy said is my own problem that i falled into this kind of guys…coz i keep hang out with this kind of guy that quality is getting worst and worst.. so.. xindy suggest me to change.. change my mindset.. change my personality…but the problem is.. i dunno wat is my mindset… i dunno wat personality do i have… so.. i have to find out wat is all about this.. and start changing to better life and…. better QUALITY.. LOL rite xindy???

any way, today i went to countdown for the stupid supervisor training..so tomolo i will starting to be a supervisor now.. if you ask me am i happy? SORRY.. i am SO NOT happy… but i will try my best to change this thinking.. coz i need something new to refresh.. RITE? ^^ i hope i can do it~!