guys are piece of shit !!!!

okay.. i think i had a loooong time didnt talked about my love life rite? well.. i try not to write anything about my love life in this blog.. coz i dunno how to write..

but! i think i keep too much in my heart already.. i need to say out now~ if not .. i think i wil explode…

this guy, the guy i got feel now.. or i should said i like him now.. after yesterday. i pretty sure i do like him.. may be not deep.. but yea.. i like him.

i think i am same with May Sze.. accept whatever guy like me.. but of course.. have to be AT LEAST normal~ and have to be same language with me.. this guy, i know him from work.. but we never talked.. may be like once when i need his help at work..and i not even know where does him came from.. he look philipino for me..

i think last months? he came to my checkout and asked for my number.. and asked me to have lunch together with him.. hehe.. that time i was like “this guys is normal.. should be alrite to be fren…” so i just said “yes” to be honest, i not even thinking anything extra that time..

any way, me and him had breakfast ONLY together with is fren.. and that time also the only once me and him met outside other than workplace… not really want to write anything detail about the rest.. but yea..i really dunno when did i start to like him.

one of my workmate came to ask me

“eh! XXXXX 是不是已经辞职不做了啊 ?!”
"我那里知道啊? 我跟他都不熟..你干吗问我啊? "
"really? 他不是在追你的吗？你们怎么会不熟呢?"
"谁跟你说他在追我啊?!没有啊！你不要乱说话啦！被其他人听到就不好啦！"
"真的啊！他时常在我们前面提起你的，我们大家还问他是不是在追你。他也没有否认啊！"
"没有否认也不代表他在追我啊…不可能的啦！他没有可能会喜欢我这类型女生的啦…"

after that..i just asked her to stop.. and start from that day.. i keep think of him. why? why after what my workmate said made me keep think of him? i dunno…any way, that is the first thing made me think of him…

one day, he sms me.. and said got one question to ask me.. i asked him what question.. coz he sound soo serious.. and he said is a serious question..that is “how much do you like me?!.. lol.. kidding…” and then he asked me others thing about uni stuff…

i dunno is he really mean it or not.. so i just replied him in kidding way .. said i was sooooooooo damn like you actually.. LOL but he just ignore it and asked me others question for his problem..i told may sze bout this.. she said he is try to flirt with me.. is he? of course .. i will never know the answer till if i dare to ask him.. and this is the second things…

Third! sooo many feeling on this time..it was yesterday, i met him.. i meet after soooooooo long… from the day we had breakfast. this is the second time i met him out side work.. he pick me up from my house.. and when me and him and also our fren were in his car..

me and him not really talk when we were in the car..i knew that three of them are really close fren.. soo i kinda out of the topic in the car.. till when we got off his car.. he wore a glasses.. that glasses is like only those nerd ppl will wear it…i was like “WoW! you look sooooo idiot with this glasses!” hehe~ i know i being sad.. but that is the first thing in my mind tho..hehe cant blame me ler..

and the he was like walked close to me and knock me with his arm.. this feeling is like sooooo weird.. is not hard as like others guy treat me.. uhmm it look hard.. but actually is soft.. it gave me the feeling like he scare i will feel hurt.. this is the first thing.

second, and when walked to karaoke.. me and my gals fren walked together.. and then he just keep walked close to me.. but we not even talked…

third, he keep concern bout me either i order any food yet.. order any drink yet.. and he notice that my drink is late.

forth, he notice that i tried to hide myself and not to sing. he keep asked me to choose song to sing.. and keep asked me what song do i want to sing.. and he will help me to look for it.. in some how, i feel that he keep look after me..compare to others.

fifth, when my drink came.. the waiter put my drink infront of him. and he just opened my drink for me and then passed it to me. To be honest, i never tried this before.. how to said in english ler? i dunno.. in chinese is like 贴心.. i know this is the normal action.. may be for him is nothing.. but for me.. is matter.

sixth, majority of them only know to sing cantonese song.. not all of them know how to sing mandarin song.. and i am shy to sing by myself.. so i always grab my gals fren to sing with me.. but some of the song my gals fren dunno how to sing.. so i asked him did he know to sing or not. you know what he said “i dunno, but you can choose it.. dont worry.. i will sing with you.. be brave!” i know.. this might nothing for you guys..but i do feel sweet.. in some how.. =_=

7th, we ordered water. but the waiter made mistake and got less one cup of water.. and that time he was sat beside me..and he just took my cup and asked “can i share your water?” yes.. of course i said i dont mind.. but dunno why in my heart.. i do feel shy. SHIT. i know! MICHELLE TAN feel shy.. but of course i didnt show this expression that time. you know what? i even dare to share food with others guy and feel nothing.. except him.

8th, when we first walked into karaoke.. i tried not to sit beside him.. soo my gals fren sat between both of us.. when my gals fren singing her own song.. he asked me something.. so our head kinda blocking my fren way.. and my fren got pissed .. so she push our head together.. and we almost kiss.! =_=!!! of course .. both of us escape..

9th, when is almost home time for me.. i told him that i need to go.. coz if i not start walking i might miss my bus and i will got blah blah blah blah from my mum..the bday boy promised me to walked with me to bus stop before.. but when i told him that i need to go.. he just said “let me send you to bus stop lar…” ^_^ i was soo happy that time.. so i ask the bday boy to stay and let him walk with me to bus stop.. we didnt talked much when we walked together.. till he show me mexico and thai restaurant.. he asked me i try before or not.. i told him i dunno how to order the food.. so i never try before.. and he just said “let find some time we came here have a try…”

and i realize something by myself, the way he talked to me soooo soft compare to when he talk to my gals fren… i dunno is it bcoz i am not that close compare to him and my gals fren…or he just try to flirt with me?!

Yup! that all for yesterday, and its already made me think for the whole night. i dunno why, all of these just made me feel like he like me.. but i dont want to believe myself.. uhm.. more like i cant believe myself.. i mean, it wont be that easy. i like a guy doesnt mean he will like me as well rite?

well, A said he like me before.. but when he saw my fren.. he said he NEVER said that before.. this just made me lost ALL my confident.. T_T

i talked bout this to keat and may sze… keat said this is too obviously that guy sure like me.. this just made me even believe that he actually like me.. just to shy to tell me? i dunno…

arrg~! even if he tell me he like, so what?! he is not my type. he smoke, he drink, he is too out going.. i heard his fren said before he used to be play boy… but he changed for ages ago.. can i believe? i cant believe guy.. is hard to believe guy.. alexis and kean is already too much for me.. i already cant really handle it.. plus A as well… i mean..when they want you, they will treat you soo damn nice.. but when they got you?! they changed..everything changed when they got something they want, or they CANT get something they want..

keat asked me to let it be..let time to tell everything…should i? i pretty sure eventho if he also like me.. me and him will be like me and kean.. after yesterday, i keep think of him.. i know is stupid.. and not worth.. but yea.. i cant control my mind!! all of my fren having love problem.. what the hell wrong with this month? why all of my best fren having this kind of problem?! arrg!!!!!

and then, a married guy. confess to me yesterday. oh well.. i think i am the who start this conversation. he keep asked me watch movie with him… and i always rejected him.. coz he is married! i dont want to brake other family! i dont want to be bitch!

friday nite, he asked me again.. and i said i am too busy for exam.. but actually i am not…i really want to make sure what is he thinking in his mind.. so i txted him and asked him why does him keep want me to watch movie with him..since he already got his wife to company him..

and you know what he said ? “why would i watch movie with my wife? i saw her every day.. is too boring already…”

then i asked him” omg, then you want me to watch with you…?! dont tell me you like me now?”

and he said “why cant i like you?! do you want me to like you?”

"of course not! you got a wife already! you should be royal to your wife and not thinking of another gal!”

"then, do you think i like you?”

"i dunno, and not like care! coz i know i wont like you! so you better dont even think about me will liking you!”

"WoW.. calm down.. let dont talk about this topic.. let talk about this when you finish exam.. concentrate on your exam…”

"……”

Fuck man! what going on now?! how come my life full of messed now?! and is majority of guys as well?! 桃花？shit! i do think this is too much for me already! i cant take it!

another guy, also from work.. me and him used to be quite close.. coz i think he is a good boy.. can be good fren.. but, recently he is kinda too much.. and bit too over..

he keep called me Honey.. darling.. sweet heart…

i dont like guy call me that.. i sure dont mind if that guy is my bf.. but this guy.. he just my normal fren.. we are not that close that he could call me that..

he always asked me.. where are you going arh? who are you with arh? what are you eating arh? do you miss me or not arh? T_T

i really found very annoying.. so.. i stop txting him.. and i lie on him that i dont want to top up my phone.. and i dont have txt 2000 to reply his txt.. i think he is not believe.. coz he actually asked my fren did i replied my fren txt.. lucky my fren knw what going on.. so she help me to lie on him as well..

i didnt meant to lie on him… but he just look like those guy that heart broken easily… i dont want to hurt him.. and i dont want let him feel bad… but he really tooooooo stick on me…

few days ago, he told his fren he want to get gf.. and his fren suggest him to think bout me.. coz i am nice…=_=!!! and he actually txt me and told me that he want me to be his gf…=_=!!! walao!!!!!

what kind of life to i have now?! shit? the guy i like made me cant concentrate of my work.. coz i really curious what is he thinking of me? like me? or not? is he still will asked me out? or not?

and then the married guy~ my parent said i cant be too rude on him.. coz we wont know what he will do on me if he got angers…. so.. basicly.. i duno how to face him when i see him.. haiz…

and the another guy, i dunno how to made him stop stick on me.. i does feel no freedom from the way he did… and me and him not even BF and GF relationship~

arrg~ i really had enough for this already!!!!!! i know i am writing a looooooooooong blog… but to be honest.. i dunno can you guy understand what am i writting or not.. coz now.. my brain..is not working.. in my brain ,, is full of question marks.. and also assignment.. exam……………..